Narbonne, France 2009

Tour Rules & Song Sheets

****************************************************************

Permanent Rules

• Any adult found drinking soft drinks will be fined and could find themselves in court.
• No Pointing (elbows only)
• No Swearing (includes all references to the round ball game)
• Left hand drinking only
• Tour shirts, once issued, to be worn at all times .
• You must join in on all group song calls, where you must know most of the words, not just the choruses.

2009 Rules

• When "Tally Ho" is called, all drinks must be taken from a cup & saucer
• When elected to wear the tour "Beret" you must mime for the next hour before passing the beret on.
• When "Fore" is called, everyone must hit the deck immediately.
• You must look "English" at all times.
• Kazoo's are Mandatory at Matches, and one hour before and after.
• No sleeping, other than in bed at night.

French Phrases

Put a name on it
Mettons un nom sur le

Don't let it bounce
Singular (Ie whoever is at fullback/catching the restart) - Nele laisse pas a rebondir
Plural (when it's a contagious whole team mistake) - Ne le laissons pas a rebondir

He's offside
Il est hors-jeu

Two hands on the ball
Deux mains sur le ballon

Don't kick it
Singular (ie Charlie)- Ne le donne pas un coup de pied
Plural (ie whole team) - Ne le donnons un coup de pied

Pedestrian
Literally this is pieton but that won't make much sense
Other suggestions
Slow - Lent, Stagnant
In slow motion - au ralenti

Vous parlez anglais? – Do you speak English?

Je ne comprends pas – I don’t understand

Je ne parle pas francais – I don’t speak french

Le Rugby

Un essai – a try

La pénalité – a penalty

Le balon – the ball

Les poteaux – the posts

Le pilier – the prop

Le talonneur – the hooker

le deuxième ligne – second row

le troisième ligne – back row

passer en avant – to pass forward e.g. En avant!! – Forward!!

Tour Songs

Mad Dogs & Englishmen
in tropical climes there are certain times of day
when all the citizens retire
to tear their clothes off and persprie.
it's one of those rules that the greatest fools obey,
because the sun is much too sultry
and one must avoid its ultry-violet ray.

papalaka papalaka papalaka boo,
papalaka papalaka papalaka boo,
digariga digariga digariga doo,
digariga digariga digariga doo.

the native grieve when the white men leave their huts,
because they're obviously definitely nuts!

mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun,
the japanese don't care to.
the chinese wouldn't dare to,
hindoos and argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one.
but englishmen detest a siesta.
in the philippines
there are lovely screens
to protect you from the glare.
in the malay states
there are hats like plates
which the britishers won't wear.
at twelve noon
the natives swoon
and no further work is done.
but mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun.

it's such a surprise for the eastern eyes to see
that though the english are effete,
they're quite impervious to heat,
when the white man rides every native hides in glee,
because the simple creatures hope he
will impale his solar topee on a tree.

bolyboly bolyboly bolyboly baa,
bolyboly bolyboly bolyboly baa,
habaninny habaninny habaninny haa,
habaninny habaninny habaninny haa.

it seems such a shame
when the english claim
the earth
that they give rise to such hilarity and mirth.

mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun.
the toughest burmese bandit
can never understand it.
in rangoon the heat of noon
is just what the natives shun.
they put their scotch or rye down
and lie down.
in a jungle town
where the sun beats down
to the rage of man and beast
the english garb
of the english sahib
merely gets a bit more creased.
in bangkok
at twelve o'clock
they foam at the mouth and run,
but mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun.

mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun.
the smallest malay rabbit
deplores this stupid habit.
in hongkong
they strike a gong
and fire off a noonday gun
to reprimand each inmate
who's in late.
in the mangrove swamps
where the python romps
there is peace from twelve till two.
even caribous
lie around and snooze;
for there's nothing else to do.
in bengal
to move at all
is seldom, if ever done.
but mad dogs and englishmen
go out in the midday sun.

ALOUETTE

• Chorus: Alouette, gentile Allouette, Alouette je te plumerai

  Leader: Does she have the straggly hair?

  All: Oui, she has the straggly hair

  Leader: Straggly hair

  All: Straggly hair

  Leader: My Alouette

  All: My Alouette

  All: Aaaaaah (followed by Chorus)

  Leader: Does she have ze furrowed brow?

  All: Oui she has ze furrowed brow

  Leader: Furrowed brow

  All: Furrowed brow

  Leader: Straggly hair

  All: Straggly hair

  Leader: My Allouette

  All: My Alouette

  All: Aaaaaah (followed by Chorus)

  Other Verses:

  Two glass eyes, Broken nose, Yellow teeth, Double chin

  Swinging tits, Pot belly, Clammy thighs, Furry thing

  Leader: Now isn’t she a very nice girl?

  All: Oui she is a very nice girl

  Leader: With the....(Repeat all the above)

   

  Thank Heaven For Little Girls

  Each time I see a little girl
  Of five or six or seven
  I can't resist a joyous urge
  To smile and say
  
  Thank heaven
  For little girls
  For little girls get bigger every day
  Thank heaven
  For little girls
  They grow up in the most delightful way
  
  Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
  One day will flash and send you crashing
  Through the ceiling
  
  Thank heaven for litttle girls
  Thank heaven for them all
  No matter where
  No matter who
  
  Without them
  What would little boys do?
  
  Thank heaven
  Thank heaven
  Thank heaven for little girls
  
  Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
  One day will flash
  And send you crashing through the ceiling
  
  Thank heaven for little girls
  Thank heaven for them all
  No matter where
  No matter who
  Without them what would little boys do?
  
  Thank heaven
  Thank heaven
  Thank heaven for little girls
  Thank heaven for little girls

  Wonderwall

  Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
  By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do
  I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
  
  Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
  I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt
  I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
  
  And all the roads we have to walk are winding
  And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
  There are many things that I would like to say to you
  But I don't know how
  
  Because maybe
  You're gonna be the one that saves me
  And after all
  You're my wonderwall
  
  Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you
  By now you shoulda somehow realized what you're not to do
  I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
  
  And all the roads that lead you there were winding
  And all the lights that light the way are blinding
  There are many things that I would like to say to you
  But I don't know how
  
  I said maybe
  You're gonna be the one that saves me
  And after all
  You're my wonderwall
  
  I said maybe
  You're gonna be the one that saves me
  And after all
  You're my wonderwall
  
  I said maybe
  You're gonna be the one that saves me
  You're gonna be the one that saves me
  You're gonna be the one that saves me

  "Beyond The Sea"
  
  Somewhere beyond the sea,
  Somewhere waiting for me,
  My lover stands on golden sands
  And watches the ships that go sailing.
  
  Somewhere beyond the sea
  She's there watching for me.
  If I could fly like birds on high
  Then straight to her arms I'd go sailing
  
  It's far beyond the star,
  It's near beyond the moon.
  I know beyond a doubt
  My heart will lead me there soon
  
  We'll meet beyond the shore
  We'll kiss just as before
  And happy we'll be beyond the sea
  And never again I'll go sailing
  
  I know beyond a doubt
  My heart will lead me there soon
  We'll meet, I know, we'll meet beyond the shore
  We'll kiss just as before
  And happy we will be beyond the sea
  And never again I'll go sailing
  
  No more sailing
  So long, sailing, sailing, no more sailing
  
  Good-bye, farewell my friend, no more sailing
  
  So long sailing, no more sailing
  
  No more, farewell...
  
  No more sailing